Wednesday, November 12, 2014

6 Tips to Taming Your Negative Thoughts

“You are your choices.” ~Seneca

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Lately, some people that I've been coming in contact with have been feeling a bit down in the dumps. A few things have happened at work or their personal life to make them feel like nothing’s going thier way.
I’m guessing that pretty much everyone experiences weeks like this from time to time. You know, where it feels like the whole world is against you. No matter what you do, nothing might be going right.
And initial reactions was for them to feel sorry for themselves. To retreat to the safety of self-pity where nothing is working ... simply the world ganging up on them.
And then, like a lightening strike out of the blue, a midst a dark cloud of pity they had ... an epiphany!
They have a choice!
Instead of reacting in a way that renders us of helpless, we have the choice to pick ourself up, dust ourself off, and turn those negative thoughts into positive ones.
When it comes to filtering our thoughts, even though at times it may not feel like it, we do have a choice.
Just because some of our thoughts are negative doesn't mean we have to listen to them.
Did you know that our brains produce 70,000 thoughts every single day? Just imagine trying to take action on every single thought ... all 70,000 of them. It would be pretty much impossible, right?
In fact we actively “filter” our thoughts pretty much all the time. Our brains are constantly deciding which thoughts are useful and which ones to ignore. So when a negative thought pops into our heads, we do actually have a choice.
Either we listen to the thought and allow it to trigger a whole host of other negative thoughts, or we decide that we have better things to do in life and we ignore it.
The truth is, you are not your negative thoughts.
Think about it. The thoughts you have inside your head do not necessarily reflect who you are as a friend, partner, parent, or worker.
This is an important point.
So many people get caught up feeling sorry for themselves or worrying without even realizing it! And then they beat themselves up about it when they realize the negativity of their thoughts.
But here’s an interesting fact: 
Most of the "Sticky Thinking" thoughts that roam around our heads are completely inane and useless! Your limiting beliefs and thoughts do not make you a bad person, because guess what? Your negative thoughts aren't real. They are just fleeting ideas that you can control if you take the time to learn how.
It’s pretty obvious, but the way you handle your thoughts can massively impact your life.
Those of us who get caught up with negative thoughts when things don’t go our way could find it hard to progress in life and get stuff done, as we’ll be dealing with things like their fear and anxiety.
Whereas those of us who work at “controlling” those thoughts and reactions to difficult situations in life can find it much easier to achieve and be happy.
Imagine if you escaped the arms of self-pity and negativity and converted most of the thoughts inside your head to positive ones. Imagine what you could achieve!
So what can you do to tame your negative thoughts?

1. Be aware.

Notice next time you experience a negative thought. Often we are so “in our heads” that we don’t even realize that we may have spent the last 20 minutes in the throws of self-pity or worries.

2. Keep calm.

Try not to have an emotional reaction to any negative thoughts that pop up. Remember that you are not your thoughts, and try to distance yourself from them.

3. Catch the first thought.

If you can catch your negative thinking early on, then it will be much easier for you to stop it before it escalates into a big problem. Often something that starts out as a minor problem ends up being completely blown out of proportion.

4. Assess things as if the thought is true.

Most negative thoughts are not based on reality. So ask yourself, “Is that thought 100% true?” Usually this will help to break down the meaning of the thought.

5. Look for a positive take on it.

Instead of finding ways to escalate the thought, do the opposite and look for ways to prove that the thought is not true. For example, if you’re doubting your capabilities you could look for an example of someone else who has achieved in this area. If someone else has done it, then what’s stopping you?

6. Don’t beat yourself up.

You are not your thoughts. Resist the urge to beat yourself up when you catch yourself thinking negatively. Everyone has negative thoughts from time to time. Just be aware and choose not to listen to all of them so you can get on with living your life.

Today, take power back from your negative thoughts, and see how much more you can achieve!

Other posts that you might benefit from:

17 Acts of Kindness that will Make Someone Happy Today

Words of Affirmation Every Relationship Needs to Hear

10 Ways to Promote Your Small Business Offline

Sunday, November 9, 2014

6 negative behaviors of others you should not allow in your life

Have you ever felt like you deserve something better? Then why settle for something less than you desire? You can decide from now that you won’t tolerate bad behavior in your life. People who try to bring you down suck the life from you and leave you feeling miserable. Why would you accept that when you can eliminate similar types of behavior? If you want to change how people are treating you and detox your life from the negativity, here are 6 behaviors you should not allow in your life.

  1. Negativity.
We live in a world where the problems of people can actually bring them closer rather than their successes. Most people are not only comfortable to share their problem but this has also become a way to make friends. Whenever you hear someone trying to start a conversation with you using negativity as a catalyst, remind yourself that you don’t need more drama in your life. Choose your health over that, choose to stay in your “positive bubble” rather than feeding your soul with unhealthy energy.
  1. Underestimating your abilities and strength
Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t achieve something you want. Stay true to yourself and to your dreams. Don’t quit just because someone thinks differently than you. The important thing is you to believe in your potential. You are strong enough to pursue your most desirable ambitions.
  1. Lies.
Paying attention to what people say and what they do in reality will definitely help you see who the honest people in your life are. If you get caught in a person’s  trap of lies once, that is a sign that must remind you to be more careful next time you communicate with them. And remember- actions speak louder than words.
  1. Bullying.
Bullying is not a problem just among kids and teenagers. It is a very common issue for adults, too. Many people just don’t recognize it because it is usually disguised as verbal aggression or other types of intolerant behavior. Bullying is not something that should just be accepted. Nobody has the right to make you feel bad for who you truly are. Unfortunately, there will always be people who try to bring others down by saying mean words. This kind of people will try their best to bring your ego to the ground but it is your responsibility not to let that happen. At first, it may seem frightening to fight back their toxic behavior but you will be glad you did. So, be aware of people who are trying to make you feel inferior. But also take note that bullying can even come from the most unexpected people, for example, your friends or family. Be alert of how others are treating you and when necessary, confront them.
  1. Others taking control over your life
You are the architect of your own world. Why would you let anyone else decide how to manage your life? Of course, it is human to feel out of control and ask someone to help you find your way back on the track but don’t let them take charge of your life..
  1. Physical violence and abuse
If you are a physical abuse survivor or have been the block between an abuser and someone close to you, if you tried to forgive and to move on with your life, you are a hero! Most people know that physical violence is a serious issue that should never be ignored and you must never tolerate such behavior but it is still surprising how many families and relationships are going through this right now. So, if you know someone who is struggling with this or has had such an experience before, give him a helping hand and encourage them to let go of their past, anger so that they can move on with their life the healthy way.
You are a sum of your life choices, so choose wisely what kind of behaviors towards yourself you tolerate. Remember that you are in charge of your life and that you are stronger than you think. Live well and don’t settle for anything less than you desire.